You've seen them. The ones that walk into a room and everyone cant help but drop everything their doing and look at them. While 70% of this attention stems from good looks, what encompasses the other 30%? It is presence.
Presence, also known as aura and even "swag," as the young kids call it these days, is an often over looked aspect of style, fashion and overall personal ambiance. We often focus so much on the clothes, the makeup and the hair that we forget little details such as our energy!
I have found over the years, my confidence has increased and with this confidence came a presence I know I did not have about five years ago. Presence is so important that even people who others would consider unattractive are able to captivate people, make them want to know them, be their friend and even fall in love with them.
Okkk....so you are probably wondering, what the heck can I do to enhance my presence? Well here are a 5 things I personally feel will help!
Think about it, a beautiful woman walks into a bus or a train and has a beautiful scent and all of a sudden people are gravitatng towards her. The scent captivates an attention and presence that shows, this woman takes pride in her hygeine. She is confident and wants people to smell that as well. The same goes for men as well. Men, cologne is sexy! Women will be more apt to talk to you if you smell good, even if she does not find you attractive. The key is to not over do it. Spray enough to be noticed but not enough to have people repulsed by you!
2. The walk
So I know you have heard this before, the way you walk says a lot about how you feel. Think back to the times you felt on top of the world. You may have gotten all straight A's, won the lottery, fell in love etc. Those days, you may walk with a little more pep in your step, a little more pride in your stride and a better posture and overall alignment. When you walk with confidence, people cant help but notice and wonder what it is about you that makes you so happy. Dont let days when you are feeling down ruin your walk! While no one expects you to walk around happy all the time, it is important to never look down with your back slumped. Not a good look, this screams "STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
A smile is an underrated element of presence. People assume that attractive people walk around with pursed lips and their head up high all the time. But the truth is that people who smile often are actually considered more attractive than people who don't. While it is difficult to be in a smiling mood 24-7. Just be aware of your face and facial expressions throughout the day. A lot of people would be surprised as to how angry they look, without even being aware of it. Anytime you aren't sure how your face is coming across to others, think about something that makes you happy and usually what ever tension you had in your face will dissipate and make you look more relaxed and approachable. Trust me, I had to learn to do this myself. There was a time when many strangers would tell me to smile!
4. Own your outfit
Ever walk out the door in an outfit you loved so much, only to walk back upstairs and change it? There could have been many factors to this; the weather, change of occasion but many times it is because we are scared t what people will think. I had to get over this myself. I live in Boston which is a fairly relaxed and conservative city. I used to try to blend in by wearing what everyone else is but my love for fashion made me start to take a few risks. Going out in the daytime in any kind of heels in Boston is sure to grant you a lot of attention. A lot of it is from guys but also from females who are often thinking "why is she wearing that?' However, it is important not to let this suade and convince you to change your style. Own your outfit no matter what looks you are receiving, especially if you have a very ecelctic style. People are going to judge you no matter what, life is short and you may as well look the way that you want to look. At the end of the day, they wish they were so fearless!
Traveling a lot naturally increases your presence because the more cities you visit, the more people you meet. The more people you meet, the more you know about different religions, cultures, hobbies and customs. This enhances your personal encyclopedia which gives you an advantage when speaking to anyone. People who travel a lot often have a lot of knowledge on restaurants, nightlife, hotels, etc. They are walking concierges. Who wouldn't want to be around them. Say for example you are not only a fairly attractive person, who dresses well and keeps yourself looking good plus you employ all the above four tips I mentioned, what else could give you that extra ummph? Wisdom, experience and knowledge! While getting a degree is a huge aspect of expanding knowledge, traveling is the best way to get real life lessons that you cannot learn in a classroom. Intelligence is sexy, so go ahead and book your trips around the world. I guarantee when you come back, you will increase your likability and your inner friend circle!
So there you have it, my five tips to enhance your presence. This list could have contained hundreds of tips but these are what I found most important. Again, this is my personal advice! Remember style is only one aspect of presence, its often the overlooked things you do can make you shine above others!